How to write wedding vows
Writing your own vows is easier with a shape to follow. Here is a simple four-part structure, prompts for each part, and an original example you can borrow from.
A four-part structure
- A moment. Open with one specific memory: the first time you met, a day you knew. One or two sentences.
- Who they are. Say what you love about them, and be concrete. "You're kind" is fine; "you learn the name of every waiter" is better.
- The promises. Three to five promises, mixing serious and light. "I promise to stay when it's hard" sits well next to "I promise to let you have the window seat."
- A close. Finish with a line that looks forward: "I choose you, today and every day after."
Prompts to get started
- When did you first realise this was different?
- What do they do that no one else notices?
- What has been hard, and how did you get through it together?
- What ordinary day with them would you happily repeat forever?
- What do you want them to remember you said, in forty years?
An example, written for this guide
The first time I saw you, you were arguing with a parking meter, and losing. I offered you a quarter, and you've been paying me back ever since: in coffee, in patience, in a hundred ordinary evenings I wouldn't trade for anything.
You are the bravest person I know, and the most stubborn, and I've learned those are often the same thing. You make every room warmer and every plan a little more interesting.
I promise to listen, even when I think I'm right. I promise to tell you the truth, gently. I promise to choose you on the easy days and especially on the hard ones. And I promise always to carry quarters.
Today I choose you. Tomorrow I'll choose you again.
Use it as a starting point; your own details will always be better.
Practical tips
Length. About one to two minutes spoken, roughly 150 to 300 words. Agree on a rough length with your partner so the vows feel balanced.
Read it aloud. Several times, days in advance. Cut anything you stumble on.
Bring a clean copy. A neat card, not your phone. Your officiant can hold a spare.
Quoting others. If you want to borrow a line, older works such as Shakespeare's sonnets or the Book of Ruth (in the King James Version) are in the public domain. Song lyrics and modern poems usually aren't, so write your own words instead.
Keep them
After the wedding, vows often end up in a drawer. Lettera composes your wedding photograph from your vows, so they become the picture itself: see wedding vows portraits, a natural first anniversary gift, or first dance photo art.
Free preview. Composed privately on your device.
All gift ideas · Anniversary gifts by year · How to write wedding vows